As Hatta sat on his cot for the night, he couldn’t help but grin widely at the thought of Jane, she made him succeed in something that he wanted in so long, whenever someone says “I’m so happy” he would understand that feeling for once, cause as far as he knew, Jane made him feel the happy feeling that he ached to feel throughout his life.
But she also caused him to think about his past the one he had forgotten, he couldn’t remember when he forgot it. Maybe it was never there to be remembered or forgotten he thought to himself frowning a bit. The boy would best be described as a ball of confusion, he never interacted with people because he never stuck around a person long enough to be able to understand complicated feelings. The person he knew longest was O’Hara and that was about it.
But the Hatta was always able to survive this world even without any human instincts and feelings, he knew to survive this world you had to be mad as hatter, and luckily he was.
Hatter went into his chambers, he felt so confused, there was an emotion far more confusing to him than love, that emotion was happiness? he’d always hear people saying “I’m so happy” but he could never relate to that, he tried figuring out what emotion that was but he could never place it. His councilors at school blamed it on being moved from one foster home to the next.
All emotions passed him in a disorganized and confusing way he could never place what emotion was what “why do they have so many names?” he muttered annoyed as he fell back against the hard mattress. at least he could relate love to O’Hara, but happiness? if he were to be asked what made him happy, he’d probably lose all control of his madness…madness is what expressed him, all emotions fell under madness to him, that made it easier for him to understand what emotions were, but being asked about love & happiness that just made him feel completely lost…
He sighed out closing his eyes trying to block his thoughts hoping for one sleep-full night
Hatter couldn’t help but feel himself getting attached to Jane, but come to think of it she never really did answer him if there was something going on between herself and O’Hara, cause if there was anything he would back off immediately, although as much as he’d refuse to believe it, it would be hard to pull himself away from the curious petite girl.
Jane has yet to see Hatta’s dark side and he couldn’t help but let that bother him, it was as if the voices were scratching the inside of his skull begging to be heard and let out, they wanted him to do so much wrong to her…he wanted to hurt her…he wanted to hurt everyone, and at the same time he didn’t want to hurt her at all. was it the love she was talking about? was it the same love he felt for O’Hara?
Hatta was defiantly beyond confused when it came to such topics, for he had never been with a girl at least not in that passionate way, he just raped his step-sister to get back at them. the subject of love was one thing no matter how mad of a hatter he was, he would never understand.
Hatta sat on his cot as he thought of the event that just took place, the voices in his head have gotten worse since he got here, the doctors never helped and for once he was frightened of what he was capable of, he knew he was mad and he was proud of it, but he was frightened of not being able to control that madness.
He found out what the girl’s name was Esmeralda or Esme as she like to call herself. Things didn’t go as planned he almost killed the little doll. He sighed out frustrated as he threw a glass from his nightstand causing it to shatter on the ground.
He started to shake his head from side to side uncontrollably, he held his head and walked over to the mirror, his eyes suddenly turning pitch black, he closed his eyes shut quickly, he opened them a moment after and everything was back to normal, he went back to sit on his bed and saw that there was no broken glass on the ground anymore…his hallucinations are obviously getting worse and he didn’t know what to do.
He thought it would be best to simply stay in his room, that’s where he belonged, alone with his thoughts, that’s where they wanted him to be.
Hatta met a girl, he never asked for her name, she never asked for his. She wanted him to come find her but she didn’t know what she was in for, not the slightest bit, but then again, who invites strange men to go and find them?…
go on Hatter go have some fun the voice whispered through his head what’s the worst that could happen, she asked for it the voice laughed, Hatta couldn’t help but consider visiting the nameless beauty as a wicked smile crossed his face, he grabbed his hat, got on his feet and went to search for the little promiscuous girl.
Hatta sat outside in the garden with his back against the wall, he watched the patients and a couple of the doctors interacting with them. Words couldn’t describe how much he hated being here and it wasn’t because he was kept captive, this place was far better for O’Hara and himself. It was the people he couldn’t stand, it’s one thing to be mad, but to be mad and be in denial of it well that was madness itself and not to mention quite annoying to him.
he sighed out closing his eyes
kill them, just kill them, if you get rid of them one by one, no one would notice, but you have to act quick a voice whispered in his head. Hatta smiled widely as a gleeful laugh left his mouth “I should kill them, kill ‘em all!” he laughed hard as if he just heard the funniest joke. But then he stopped laughing abruptly as he heard O’Hara chuckling with one of the patients. Hatta couldn’t help but frown “I couldn’t do that to him…my dear friend, he seems happy here” he whispered with lost eyes as he went back to his relaxed state and simply gazed at the people around him.
PB: Ben Barnes
Secret: I raped my foster sister.
Diagnosis: Schizophrenia; a mental disorder characterized by a disintegration of thought processes and of emotional responsiveness. It most commonly manifests itself as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking, and it is accompanied by significant social or occupational dysfunction.
History: Hatta doesn’t know what happened to his parents. The story changed every time. One day they had given him for adoption, the next they had died in a car crash, not that it mattered much to him. He was thrown in the system and moved from home to home until he landed in a home with the Angelinis. They seemed like the perfect home at first, they already had their own child and another foster child, Haigha O’Hara, who seemed by far unique yet entertaining. They weren’t perfect. They mistreated the boys until Hatta stood up for himself, and Haigha. He was tired of their abuse. He already had enough with the auditory hallucinations, the delusions he had and they possibly weren’t as bad as he believed them to be. When he struck back by raping their daughter, they quickly sent him to the hospital along with Haigha and the two seem inseparable. Perhaps there he’ll be reunited with Alice, a girl he had once met in his travels through many homes.