tick tick tick.
The world was hazy and a blur, Hatta squinted his eyes trying to focus but to no avail, he sat up slowly feeling like everything that passed by him was three times slower, he looked down at his body, his arms were extend, they were longer than they ever were and they felt so heavy, he go off his bed and stood on the ground his feet sunk into the floor as if the floor was made of sponge.
tick tick tick.
Where was the ticking coming from? he got on his knees and grabbed the box from under his bed throwing it’s lid open to find his father’s old pocket watch ticking loudly, he took the watch and held it in his hands as he stood up again and left his room.
tick tick tick.
The ticking was getting louder as he walked down the elongated hallway all the doors were open when he passed by them, the other patients were standing in the frame “tick, tok, tick, tok” they said to him with dark looks. “You’re late” said Alice as he passed by her door “it’s ticking, it’s ticking” said Haigha holding out a pocket watch of his own. Hatta’s heart started to thump loudly as he ran as fast as he could down the hall until he reached the end, he opened the brown door to reveal a smaller red door, he grabbed at the handle and threw it open in a panic only to reveal a green one.
tick tick tick
The ticking was in his brain banging against his skull, he pulled open the green door and there stood Jane “You’re late darling” she said, he went out to touch her but fell through a hole in the ground and was consumed by darkness and worst of all silence.
“Don’t be scared of the the voices in your head, or their tormenting company, because it’s when they’re quiet that your fear should blossom. For the only thing that is worse than insanity, is what silences it.”
It’s been two days since Hatta had stopped taking his medication. the withdrawal of the first day had caused him immense pain and hallucinations, it terrified him but soothed him at the same time, at least he wasn’t lonely when the voices were around. Hatta didn’t want to deal with people, they were all so dramatic, so many rules and morals that he didn’t really care for, he tried to listen to them and play along but something in him broke when he first came here, the smiles and laughter he gave was nothing and meant nothing to him, pretending didn’t make him feel better…
he craved to be isolated and spend his moments alone in the dark, he enjoyed his own company, he didn’t need people, at least he didn’t think so. Hatta would spend most of his day in his room or sneak into the abandoned room with the piano and old record player that had collected dust over the years from being forgotten. That was the only place he could think. Because once he played those keys, something in him would be awoken and he thought maybe, just maybe it was the real him, not the madman, but the boy from his forgotten past, the boy that was lost between the voices.
“I need to get my memory back from where it was lurking”
When memories come back, some you keep and some you trash in the can. You’ve been dealt the cards, just rearrange the deal.
Hatta had finally decided to leave his chambers, he felt as if he was in a trance, he had stopped taking the pills the nurse would give him simply by throwing them up quickly right after. Hatta had missed his only worthy company. He walked around the hallways, passing by many doors…He didn’t need anyone…a Tea Party for One could be Odd, but being odd wasn’t different for Hatta.
He sighed out as he leaned back against a wall, but a cracked door had attracted his attention, Hatta walked slowly towards the door, his hands touched the cold wood frame as he looked unsure if he should walk in. He thought if it was off limits then the door would have been locked, so he walked in slowly and looked around it was an office, an empty office but that wasn’t what had his attention, it was the grand piano that sat in a corner near a grand caged up window, he didn’t care where he was, he couldn’t even think strait for he was far too entranced with the instrument before him.
Hatta walked slowly towards the piano as his fingers touched the keys ever so lightly, a small soft smile made it’s way to his lips, he tested out a few keys and he had felt so calm. Sitting down slowly both of his hands touched the keys, never pressing them too hard to make a sound…Deja vu he thought to himself, he closed his dark eyes trying to concentrate on what had made him feel so familiar with something unknown to him, but the harder he thought he could of sworn he heard music sooth his ears, he opened his eyes and saw that it was he himself that was playing…
When Hatta was on his way back to his room that night, his eyes landed on a piece of paper on the floor, it was a letter from Jane, she was saying how she was going to leave him alone from now on…He felt as if he just chocked on something, he walked to the foot of his bed and took a seat, the paper in his hand was shaking, he didn’t even notice that he was trembling, a lone tear fell from his eye as he bit his lip trying to calm down.
He chuckled despite his current state, his chuckle started to turn into a loud hysterical laugh as he fell back onto the uncomfortable cot, he simply stared at the ceiling with tears falling from his eyes and a loud sad laugh left his tight chest. He stopped laughing as he glared at the ceiling, he then shot up as he started to tear up the paper in his hands, ripping it to shreds, oh how he wished that it was him, just to tear himself up and stop existing.
He couldn’t handle it anymore, it was far too much for him to take. Hatta was officially off the rails. He began laughing like a mad man, he bet the whole floor had heard him as he started jumping on his bed banging on the low ceiling laughing like a maniac “come out! come out!” he started screaming with tears streaming down his cheeks, he wanted needed the voices at least their company only messed with his head never his chest, never his emotions.
I’ve been considering things that start with the letter “M”…Madness, Mutiny, Moron, Murder, Malice…
Hatta had spent his day in his chambers, he didn’t feel like seeing anyone anymore, they seemed so together, they all knew what they wanted, and how they were going to play their cards, where as he…he simply felt lost between them, he never had a problem being loud and attracting attention from them all, but once it came down to it, that was only an act, there was so much more to him that he couldn’t show the others.
O’Hara was the only one that got him, he was the only one that kept his emotions at bay, and the forgotten girl from his past, she was the only one that could fix his head, she made him feel that it was okay to be mad that only the great people were mad.
Hatta only wanted to stay here because of O’Hara never himself, he hated it here no matter how much he pretended that he enjoyed every moment of it, it was suffocating him, he was either tossed about and pulled around out there with everyone’s ideas and beliefs of what was right and wrong, or he was torn to shreds by the voices and hallucinations when he was alone…
Hatta stood by his caged window and you could hardly hear him as he whispered two lines
Little Alice fell down the hole, bumped her head and bruised her soul
